Victim: Mimosa Xochiquetzal Conchita Esperanza Guadalupe Lopez Rosdahl
Weapon: Doggie Back Warmer
Location: Her supposed "safe" Southtown Home
The assault: One evening as Mimosa played and frolicked about, her Aunt Amy and Aunt Sonia came over and joined Mimosa's Mamma for dinner and a movie. Although Mimosa was so excited to have visitors, she was unaware of the trauma that she would soon suffer. After Mimosa socialized with the company for a bit, she noticed that one of the guest had brought a camera. "Yippy!" she thought, "I'm gonna get my picture taken! I better put my best paw forward. I hope they get my good side, and I'll pose just like....Hey, what's that in mamma's hand?" That's when it happened, Mimosa was forced to wear this ridiculous back warmer, AGAIN, and worst of all this time it was in front of visitors and than photographed! She remembered her first encounter with the hideous garment. "Look Mimosa at what your Aunt Sonia Made you!" exclaimed her Mamma. "What the #@*& is this? And why does my Aunt Sonia hate me so?" Mimosa thought, "This poor excuse for an outfit is just horrible, even though I can't see in color, I'm pretty sure this stupid thing doesn't even bring out my eyes! How dare they subject me to such embarrassment and why only my back, is this stupid thing supposed to attract the heat to me?? Nooo because it's useless, I tell you, completely useless!!!"
Update: Mimosa has been recovering well with the help of psychological professionals and a lot of alcohol. The appalling "back warmer" has been successfully put down and turned into a coaster, where it will not be able to come in contact with said victim.
2 comments:
I think you should try again, this time tell Mimosa that it isn't a dorky back warmer (too similar to the dreaded leg warmers)...but a cape! A glorious and wonderful red cape! What little doggie wouldn't want a cape?
Yes, it's a cape for sure. Perhaps a soft, fuzzy black cape might appeal to little Mimosa. She is so cute. And you know, today of all days, she MIGHT just really want to have that back warmer, I mean, cape, on her back! It's actually cold today!
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